PAIR | Personality Awareness Inventory for Relationships

The PAIR (Personality Awareness Inventory for Relationships) is based on emotional intelligence model for relationships. Emotional intelligence (EI) is the largest contributing factor to success in all areas of life, including relationships. The theory of EI was defined by Drs. Peter Salvoes and John D. Mayer as “the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.” (Salvoes & Mayer, 1990) Daniel Goleman has since brought this concept further to the general public. He describes EI as being comprised of four primary components: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness (or awareness of others), and relationship management.

The PAIR is an instrument that provides the basic information for your personality, the personality of others and the specific dynamics/personality of a relationship comprised of two different personality types.

The PAIR provides a detailed look at your personality type to increase your self-awareness as well as skills that will assist in self-management. It also provides a detailed description of other personality types. Our personality provides insight into the things that energize vs drain us, how we tend to communicate, how we perceive others and how we are perceived by others, our perspective, our decision-making methods, and how we process information. It also provides information regarding the emotional needs of each personality type. With this information about our own and others’ personality types, the PAIR equips us with the information needed to have insight into the communication and emotional needs of others so that our communication is more effective and the interactions are more fulfilling.

Finally, the PAIR provides a detailed description of 10 primary relationship tendency types. When two people interact (regardless of what type of relationship they have) they both bring behaviors and habits into that interaction which creates patterns of interaction that when repeated over time, become the dynamics of that relationship. That relationship then has it’s own traits. The PAIR provides descriptions and characteristics of each of these relationship tendency types both when they are healthy, or in tune, and when they are unhealthy, or dissonant.

The PAIR is a simple personality inventory/profile very similar to many of the other 2500 personality profiles published today. All of these instruments measure a person’s personality based on certain tendencies. The PAIR was developed by Christy F. Jacob, LPC-S, NCC, BCC and was derived from her experience using many of these instruments, her education, lifetime experiences, and her 25 years of clinical experience. Unlike many others, the PAIR is unique because it also provides in-depth information regarding the dynamics of the relationships between two different personality types. Christy believes relationships are the source of our greatest joys and biggest hurts in life. This has fueled her passion to help others have fulfilling and healthy relationships. The PAIR is meant to be a tool that equips people to understand themselves and others better. This enables them to work smarter, not harder, at meeting the emotional needs of and understanding others. The PAIR enables us to speak their language and therefore communicate more effectively with them. Simply put, the PAIR is meant to serve as a gateway to a deeper understanding of yourself, others, and of relationship dynamics and therefore ultimately a mechanism and catalyst for healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Take the Quiz and see your personality spectrum!